Finding Yourself Again

Have you come out of a depressive moment, recently ended a toxic relationship, or have you been pushing your true self down behind a facade of false identity?

People pleasing, attempting to fit into a certain crowd, taking on a new aesthetic, holding onto ingenuine beliefs and thoughts and styles can cloud your view of yourself.

Struggling with adopting the qualities or traits that were pushed onto you from family, friends, boyfriends, and girlfriends? None of the above? If you’re just feeling lost in the sea of pinterest personalities then perhaps you should sit down with yourself, have a nice drink, and get to know you.

Ready? Alright.

Past To Present

Let’s flashback. 

As a child in school I remember filling out a questionnaire about me, my likes and my dislikes, my future and what I wanted to be later in life. Going back to the basics is a good place to start, save for a few smaller details, the majority of my identity as a child transcended to my present self. It may seem like the superficial details about you don’t matter but that superficial layer builds up to create a larger, more complex presence.

"...save for a few smaller details, the majority of my identity as a child transcended to my present self..."

Take a look over the timeline of your life, and make note of those seemingly insignificant details. From your favorite color and foods to hobbies. Reflect on your relationships with those around you. The members of your family or friends and peers. All of these ingredients combined create the unique foundation of identity that you continue to develop through your life. 

I notice the major defining moments that stand out to me still are based around my family, friends, bullying in school, and blossoming interests of my own. Of course the navigation of romantic relationships left bold memories and shifts in perspective and wisdom of my needs, goals, and who I am as well. The accumulation of these experiences and knowledge of my inner self are what have fully shaped me into who I am today.

Now that you know who you’ve been, you can see who you are at this moment and how that may lead into your next evolution of identity.

The Soul

The next layer of identity is your spiritual and moral stance.

This may stay the same throughout your life depending on your upbringing and what you go through. This also may be what reflects the largest changes about yourself.

Do you have any beliefs?

What fills you with hope or conviction?

What is your driving force of positivity?

What are you afraid of?

What do you support?

Ask yourself where you stand for religious/political topics, for example.

Many people go through a spiritual or religious metamorphosis while growing, being educated, and maturing before finding their way back to their childhood religion or adopting their preferred practice. This may change again as you begin a marriage or have children or process traumas or grief.    

I think that piggybacking off of the spiritual and mental subject is the next layer: your Future Self.

Present to Future

What do you feel is the reason behind your existence?

What could you spend every day doing and never tire of?

When we are gone and people look up our names or remember our life, what do you want them to see?

What mark do you want to leave on your family, friends, or society?

If you could improve anything in the world what would it be? 

These are the major driving agendas that will push you into whatever you decide to do with your life. Whether you become a criminal, business owner, or artist, your beliefs and goals should give you a target to aim for.

Feel out your purpose. Find out what fulfills you. 

The legacy you want to leave behind is a huge part of your identity. The goals you spend your life working towards, the journey of failures, accomplishments, and successes will be what people access about you.

Is your legacy your career?

Or your family or children?

What about the wisdom and major lessons you spend your whole life learning?

Have you positively impacted those around you or have you brought people down?   

"The goals you spend your life working towards, the journey of failures, accomplishments, and successes will be what people access about you."

Sierra

Build yourself up based on your habits and goals. 

Hopefully this gives you a good overview of who you are, but also who you have been, and who you could be.

Live like art - beautifully!